Being In Love
by ssg
Summary: The rule of a monk causes Goku to hesitates about the feelings he had for Sanzo. Will they ever be together in the end? [39][Completed]
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^ 

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning:Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.

Summary:The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, not to kill, not to gamble and not to love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not. 

Being In Love 

**+++**

Chapter One 

"Bakasaru! Can't you stop your whining and keep your mouth shut!" Sanzo shouted angrily to the youth sitting on the chair, near the window, of his office. The famous Genjo Sanzo was doing his paperwork, sitting behind his desk, with a brush on his right hand and a set of documents on his left, but he was glaring at his pet, Son Goku, who was whining in his office and couldn't kept quiet at all. "It's annoying, do you know that!?"

Pouting, Goku stared back at Sanzo innocently and said, "But I'm bored."

"Then find something to do!" Sanzo retorted as he resumed his work, ignoring Goku's pitiful stares. Without thinking, Sanzo added, "I'm busy can't you see that? If you're so free, get a job in town or find a girlfriend to accompany you!"

It's been three months since they returned from their suicidal mission and since then, the world had been peaceful and harmonious. Our four heroes went back to their normal lives, but the youngest companion out of the four, were totally bored since Sanzo gives him little attention and the other two companions, Sha Gojyo and Cho Hakkai seems to be so coped up with their new relationship that they had no time for others.

"Meanie!" Goku shouted hurtfully at Sanzo and rushed out the room, banging the door shut.

Staring at the door, Sanzo was a little surprise that Goku suddenly got so upset just after what he says. Unable to trace out what had he said wrong, Sanzo just let out a sigh and mentally noted to himself that the monkey would be back when he's hungry.

***

_'Why am I feeling so upset?' _Goku thought as he walked down the hall of the temple, towards the entrance, deciding to head for the town. He was very uneasy with the feeling of being upset with Sanzo just after what he had said. _'Wasn't I used to his scolding and hurtful words already?'_

Walking pass the entrance gate of the temple, Goku thought deeply about the reason why he was feeling so funny these few days. He felt good when he was with Sanzo, but he felt very uneasy when he recalled Sanzo telling him to look for a girlfriend just a moment ago.

"Why am I feeling so angry at what Sanzo says?" asked Goku softly to himself as he continues walking towards the town. Unsure of where he was heading to, Goku just continued his steps and thought about his upsets. "Why do my heartaches a little when Sanzo said that? I don't understand… "

Unconsciously, Goku knocked into someone and snapped out of his thoughts immediately, just in time to balance himself before he fell down. Turning around, Goku apologized and bowed, "I'm sorry... Hey, you're… Houmei!" [1]

The girl looked up at Goku and hurriedly covered her mouth in shocked, "Goku-san! It's you!"

***

"It's been a year since we last met… How have you been?" Goku chirped cheerfully.

Houmei smiled and nodded, "I've been fine, thank you. I heard rumors that the Sanzo-ikkou had defeated Gyumaoh and were back to their original lives. I wanted to meet with you again so I set on my own journey to ask about your whereabouts."

"Meet me?" Goku blinked in confused.

"Yeah, I wanted to because we're friends and that we haven't been able to talk properly the last time since all I told you were about my late childhood friend and how I hated demons." Houmei smiled sadly as he recalled the incident with the demon who attacked her and hold her as hostage. Shaking off her thoughts, Houmei turned to Goku and asked cheerfully. "So how are you?"

"Fine, thank you." Goku smiled. "How's your father?"

"He's doing well too. You live alone now?" asked Houmei.

Shaking his head, Goku replied, "No, I stayed in the temple with Sanzo." Suddenly feeling sad, Goku recalled his early upset and stood up from the bench, where he was sitting with Houmei, and turned his back on her. "I guess I better go now."

"Wait!" Houmei reached to grab Goku's hand. "Is something bothering you? You can talk to me, you know?"

Tilting his head to eye Houmei, Goku saw her concern and nodded. "Well, I guess it's better to have someone to hear me out anyway."

"Right." Houmei smiled.

***

Back in the temple, Sanzo was getting a little irritated about Goku, who had yet to return. It was already dinnertime but the said youth was yet to be back. Not only was Sanzo irritated about Goku, who was not back yet, but also irritated about the funny feeling he was feeling just as he remembered Goku's expression this afternoon.

Stacking his papers neatly, Sanzo stood up and head out of his office, in search of the youth. It's rare that Goku could forget the time when it comes to food. Sanzo was not worried, but concerned. Goku was just not the kind to skip his dinner so Sanzo just got to see what the monkey is up to and he was sure going to get it if he finds him; for wasting his time to look for him.

Out the temple, Sanzo started his search for the monkey. However, he never expected it to be so difficult. He had gone around town but yet there was no trace of the monkey anywhere. Little do the great Sanzo-sama knows that Goku was actually having his dinner with Houmei at the inn, where she was staying for the day. Obliviously, Sanzo continued searching for Goku around town once more. The reason Sanzo thinks that Goku would never go into any restaurant was because he knew or rather thought that he had no money to even buy a bun for himself.

"Where did the damn monkey go!?" Sanzo hissed as he ended another round of search in the town. Getting frustrated, Sanzo decided to go back since he guesses that Goku might be back since he couldn't find him anywhere in town. Just as he was walking towards the temple, the door to one of the inns, opened and out came both Goku and Houmei, smiling happily and waving their goodbyes. 

A tinge of envious ran pass Sanzo as he witnesses Goku smiling so cheerfully with Houmei. He doesn't understand why was he feeling envious when he gets to see Goku smiles everyday. Was he unhappy that he wasn't the one to cheer Goku up, someone who he had upset earlier in the afternoon for reason unknown? Then when he glances over at the duo again, he remembered exactly what he said about getting a girlfriend and it hits him hard on the back of his head as he witnesses how happy they were chit chattering about. Guilt and jealousy instead of envious crawl up to his mind as he continued watching the happy pair. _'Damn me!'_

Deciding to push away all his thoughts, Sanzo went up to the monkey, who had automatically popped out from the inn, and thwacks him with his infamous paper fan.

"Ouch~!!" Goku yelped and covered his head with both hands before turning around to see who had hit him all of a sudden? And when he saw Sanzo, he whined, "Sanzo, what did you do that for!? And what are you doing here anyway?"

Houmei smiled with a sweat drop and bowed, "Good evening, Sanzo-sama. It's been a pleasure to see you again."

Sanzo ignored Houmei and turned back to Goku, "Did you know its pass dinnertime already!? Where the hell have you been!? Now you caused me to miss my own dinner!"

"You told me to go so I came to town to look for something to do. Now you get angry just because of that. It was you who told me out. And I never said that you can't have your dinner without me." Goku reasoned as he rubbed his sore head. "What's your problem anyway?"

_'When did the monkey get so much backbones lately?'_ Sanzo thought as he glared angrily at Goku who just pouted. Turning back to the direction of the temple, Sanzo stated, "Back to the temple, it's almost your bedtime, bakasaru!"

"Eh? What about your dinner?" asked Goku; suddenly aware of what Sanzo had said. 

Starting his pace towards his direction, Sanzo replied as he walked. "I'm dragging you out to town to get a better meal tomorrow and to make up for dinner today. You're the cause for missing my dinner so you're going to be staying by my side the whole of tomorrow!"

Staring at his keeper in surprise, Goku was speechless. Didn't Sanzo just want him to leave him alone this afternoon? Why was he being so nice to him all of a sudden? Now Sanzo even wanted him to stay by his side the whole of tomorrow? He was getting a warming feeling in his heart at the sudden niceness from Sanzo then the ache he got earlier. Deciding not to ask about it too much, Goku waved another goodbye to Houmei before following Sanzo.

Seeing them go, Houmei giggled and murmured, "I smell jealousy in the air." Then she entered the inn with a smile plastered on her lips. "I bet Goku-san was still unaware of this sort of feeling judging by the looks he put on just now... "

Then the night went by with the full moon hanging in the sky… 

**+++**

**To be continued…**

[1] Houmei was the character from episode 2. ^_^

A/N: How was it? I hope you like it. I'm still a novice at writing shounen ai so please give me some feedback about this chapter. If my English is bad, please bear with me. It's been a while since I last wrote a fic so I'm really not very good at it. ^_^


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^ 

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning:Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.****

Summary:The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love 

**+++**

Chapter Two 

"It looks delicious~!" Goku moaned at the sight of food, placed in front of him. Drooling over the mountain of food served by the waitress, Goku never noticed how annoyed Sanzo was. "Nei, nei, Sanzo, can we eat now? I'm hungry~!"

"Ch!" Sanzo hissed, picking up the chopsticks and started eating. "Do whatever you want!"

Goku chirped happily, "Then let's eat!" With that, Goku started eating contently. "Delicious~!"

Stealing a few glances over at Goku, Sanzo felt kind of guilty all of a sudden. He hadn't seen Goku eating so happily for sometimes, even though they ate together all the times in the temple. Back in the temple, Goku did eat what was served and complained that he was hungry after he had finished but didn't whined continuously since he doesn't want to earn a whack from Sanzo's paper fan. Then Goku would just left the room grumpily due to his stomach was not satisfied with the amount of food he consumed. The reason was because the food he ate in the temple is vegetarian and get hungry later on of the day.

Wondering why Goku never bugged him to go out the temple for a better meal? Sanzo decided to ask now or he would not be at ease. "Oi, saru!"

Swallowing the food in his mouth, Goku looked up to Sanzo, "Nani, Sanzo?"

"I wanted to ask you something." Sanzo questioned. "Why didn't you ask me to take you out to eat instead of eating in the temple? I know you don't like eating vegetables at all, so why?"

Thinking for a while, Goku replied, "You said you are busy and I know you would surely be angry if I bugged you. So I just got to tolerate."

"It's unlike you to say something like that." Sanzo stated.

"I know, but it's okay because I'll look for a job and earn my own money. Then I can be able to eat all I want and I won't be that hungry anymore." Goku said genuinely, sipping a sip of water. "I learn that I mustn't relied on you too much. I must grow up or I'll always be a kid to all of you. I want to be independent once in a while. I'm going to be 19 soon… I'm not a kid anymore."

Surprised that Goku had actually grown more matured throughout the days, Sanzo went speechless. Realizing that Goku doesn't want to rely on him, Sanzo felt that Goku had floated very far away from him just by saying that. He doesn't want that. He wanted Goku to depend on him than on his own. He wanted Goku to be by his side, whining and complaining that he's hungry like he does during the journey. A part of him told him that Goku had changed because of his cold behavior to him but another part of him tells him that Goku was actually growing up. Dismissing his thoughts, Sanzo turned his attention back to Goku.

Placing a hand on Goku's head, Sanzo murmured, "I know I had been mean, but I honestly don't mind if you rely on me because I'm used to it already. You're my responsibility since the day I released you from the goddamn cave."

Feeling contented and warm after what Sanzo had said, Goku just smiled. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the affection moment Sanzo was showing him. It was true that he wanted to rely on himself once in a while. However, he couldn't help but depend on Sanzo when he needed the comfort and affection to note that someone still cares of him. 

Seeing Goku smiles had always brightens his day, though he never admits it. Sanzo ruffled Goku's messy hair and let a small smile draws his lips as he noticed Goku was actually enjoying his touch. Hearing a soft squeal, Sanzo murmured, "Bakasaru… "

"Mou, Sanzo, stop calling me that!" Goku whined. Happily thinks that Sanzo was in a good mood today, Goku thought that he should be careful of what he says and did for the day, to keep Sanzo's mood as it is. _'I'm glad Sanzo's happy… ' _

Retreating his hand, Sanzo said, "Let's finished the food and returned to the temple after this."

"Hai." Goku nodded and finished off his last meat bun. _'Sanzo is very nice to me lately. I wonder why?'_

***

Leaving the restaurant after they had done with their breakfast, they were intended to return to the temple when a group of kids walked up to them. Apparently, they are Goku's friends. He befriended them and plays with them whenever he had nothing to do in the temple. 

"Goku-chan, would you play with us today?" asked one of the girls in the group.

"Yeah, let's play!" chirped one of the boys.

Goku nodded, "Sure." Turning back to Sanzo, Goku said, "Sanzo, you go back to the temple alone. I wanted to stay and play with them."

Just as Goku was about to run forward to the kids, Sanzo grabbed hold of Goku's wrist and hissed, "Have you forgotten what I said yesterday?"

"Huh, yesterday?" Goku thought for a while. As he remembered, Sanzo started dragging him towards the temple. "But, I thought it was a joke~! You said that I'm noisy in the temple anyway~!"

"Urusai!" Sanzo whacked Goku with his paper fan. "I don't joke! I mean what I said!"

Being dragged away, Goku could only shouted back to the kids, "Tomorrow, I'll play with all of you, I promised~!!"

The kids frowned and left and Goku saw a slight glimpse of the kids' face and sighed guiltily for disappointing them. Turning up to face Sanzo, Goku pouted, "You are a meanie!"

"Ch, say whatever you want, you're not leaving my side for the rest of today, like it or not!" Sanzo hissed.

"MEANIE!!!" Goku shouted.

***

Back to the temple, Goku was to sit quietly in the office, where Sanzo was working. Uncaringly, Sanzo just continued doing his paperwork, ignoring Goku. Goku just sighed in defeat and sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. He couldn't whine or protest or he would taste Sanzo's flying paper fan, thrown to him. 

He had tasted that just a while ago so he just sat where he was, staring at the floor. Then, an hour later, Goku unconsciously fallen asleep onto his arms, which are wrapped around his legs. He was bored and the only thing he could do was sleep. 

Realizing the silence from the youth, Sanzo looked up from his documents, and found Goku sleeping away. Getting off from where he sat, Sanzo sighed and walked towards the youth. Gathering him in his arms, Sanzo decided to let him sleep in his room. Along the way, Sanzo was quite surprise that the youth was so light. As he reached, Sanzo decided to let Goku sleeps on his bed then the futon he sleeps.

_'Was I too mean on him today?'_ Sanzo thought as he brushed away Goku's fringe from his face. Viewing the innocent face of Goku, Sanzo remembered his feelings for him. _'I can't believed that I actually gain fondness for this idiotic monkey during the journey? I had been so nice to him lately.'_

Covering Goku with his comforter, Sanzo traced his fingers on Goku's face and murmured, "Aishiteru, Goku… "

  
Then he placed a soft kiss on Goku's forehead and left the room soundlessly. Meanwhile, Goku smiled in his sleep after Sanzo said that and instead of nightmare, Goku dreams a happy moments that include a certain blonde. Sleeping soundly, Goku murmured, "Sanzo… "

***

Leaning against the door of his room, Sanzo couldn't believe that he actually said what he said just a moment ago. Did he really love Goku? What he said just now surprised him but what surprised him most was that gentle kiss he gave to Goku before he left the room. 

Gently placed a finger on his lips, Sanzo smiled inwardly, _'I can't believe I actually did that.'_

However contented he was, Sanzo couldn't help but felt a little disappointed that he actually confessed to the monkey when he's asleep. Goku would never know he's feelings like that. Mentally noting that he's so silly confessing to the sleeping monkey instead of an awaken one, Sanzo left for his office, thinking how should he confess his feelings for Goku again. 

_'I'm more like a idiot now.'_

***

Later that day, Goku woke and bounced towards Sanzo's office, remembering he should be staying by his side for the day. Halfway towards the room, Goku spotted two familiar men and a white dragon by the temple's entrance. Noticing who they were, Goku bounced towards the visitors and chirped happily.

"Gojyo, Hakkai, Hakuryu~!!!" 

The said men and dragon turned to Goku's direction and greeted him.

"It's been a while, Goku. How have you been?" asked Hakkai, waving to Goku and smiling cheerily. He was glad to see Goku healthy and cheerful. He was actually worried about Goku's appetite and well-being along the way to the temple; knowing Goku dislike vegetarian food since that hardly full his stomach and concern about the way the other monks treat him. Those thoughts vanished when he saw how cheerful Goku was. 

"Yo, saru!" Gojyo smiled.

"Kyu~!" Hakuryu cooed happily, flying towards Goku and landed on his shoulder. Nuzzling Goku's face affectionately, Hakuryu cooed contently. "Kyu~ Kyu~"

Giving Gojyo a high five as he finally reached where they stand, Goku chirped, "I miss you guys so much. How have you two been getting along?" 

"Great!" Gojyo replied, wrapping an arm around Goku's shoulder. "What about you and the corrupted monk?"

"Great, too. Sanzo had been very nice to me these days." Goku said, leading them to Sanzo's office. "Let's go see Sanzo, I bet he'd be glad to see you guys too!"

"I doubt so." Hakkai said, smiling.

Turing to Hakkai, Goku blinked and confusedly ask, "Why?"

Gojyo answered, "because he would be annoyed that we disturb his quality time with you."

"Huh? I don't get you." Goku scratches his head.

Hakkai chuckled and shrugged, "You'll see whether he's happy or not."

***

"Sanzo, Sanzo!" Goku bounced in to the office. "See who's here?"

Sanzo almost choked on the tea he was drinking when Goku suddenly jumps in. Placing the cup on the table, Sanzo stomped towards Goku and whack him hard. "Bakasaru!! You almost choke me to death! I thought you're asleep? What are you doing here now?"

Innocently looking up at Sanzo, Goku rubbed his sore head and whined, "Sanzo, it hurts~!" Pouting, Goku reasoned, "you told me to stay by your side for the day. Don't you remember? You even reminded me earlier." 

Sighing in exasperation, Sanzo kept his paper fan and turned back to his desk. 

Gojyo, Hakkai and Hakuryu couldn't make out of what just happened and what they just heard. Deciding to teased Sanzo, Gojyo smirked and said, "still as short-tempered as ever, Sanzo-sama."

"I must agree with Gojyo." Hakkai smiled.

Turning around at the voice, Sanzo remembered Goku saying that someone's here. Seeing Gojyo and Hakkai, Sanzo hissed softly, "what are you two doing here!?"

"For a visit!" Hakkai stated simply.

"Uninvited." Sanzo said shortly as he sat behind his desk, resuming his work.

"Don't be so mean, Sanzo-sama." Gojyo mocked. "We're once traveling companions after all."

"Urusai! I had never admitted that you are my companion before!" Sanzo shouted.

"Mah, mah, let's not argue about this anymore." Hakkai said calmly. "It's been a while since we sit together and chatted, let's have lunch together, we'll treat."

Goku started drooling but Sanzo protested.

"Go ahead if you want to have lunch but I won't go. I got work to do, as you can see." Sanzo said, without looking up.

"Fine, the saru is enough anyway." Gojyo said, coolly. "He'd be enough to entertain us-"

"The saru won't go as well." Sanzo cut in shortly. "He was grounded to leave the temple for today."

Looking hopefully at Hakkai, Goku pouted, "Hakkai."

"Don't be so mean, Sanzo. You may not want to join us but that doesn't mean Goku doesn't want to. Let him off for today and ground him tomorrow? We came all the way to visit and it's a pity if we go off just like that." Hakkai helped to talk out for Goku who was begging him silently.

"No means no." Sanzo stated. "He's to stay by my side for the day and I mean it!"

Knowing that whatever he said won't persuade Sanzo, Hakkai just sighed in defeat and said, "very well then. We'll leave for today and come and pick Goku up tomorrow. Okay?"

"Ch." Sanzo just hissed.

Hakkai turned to Goku and patted his shoulder, "Come and look for us in town, we'll be staying at one of the inns there. See you tomorrow then."

Goku nodded, "Hai."

Gojyo shrugged and left after giving Goku a thumb up. "See you tomorrow, then."

"Um, bye, bye." Goku waved sadly. After they left, Goku sighed sadly and murmured, "Why is Sanzo being so mean to Gojyo and Hakkai?"

Sanzo didn't catch what Goku had said since he was concentrating on his work. 

"Nei, Sanzo, I'm hungry." Goku suddenly said.

It's almost pass lunchtime and Sanzo never realized it since he was not hungry after having a heavy breakfast hours ago. "I'm not in the mood to talk about food with you now. Wait until its dinnertime!"

"Eh~!! But I'm hungry!" Goku protested.

Swearing under his breath, Sanzo open a drawer of his desk and took out a big paper bag of meat buns he brought when they were in town. Throwing the bag to Goku, Sanzo hissed, "Eat these and shut up!"

"When did you buy these, Sanzo?" Goku regains his cheerful self at the sight of meat buns in the bag. "It looks delicious!"

"Ch." Sanzo resumed his work, ignoring Goku's comment on the buns. Then suddenly, two meat buns were placed on the edge of his desk and Sanzo looked up and saw Goku smiling happily at him. "What is this all about?"

"Arigato, Sanzo. Let's share." Goku chirped.

"Bakasaru." Sanzo murmured, taking one of the buns from the edge of the desk. 

**+++**

**To be continued…**

**A/N:** That's it for chapter two. Hope you like it. Well, next chapter, more on Sanzo and Goku and also following the summary line, 'rules of a monk'. As we all know, all monks are vegetarian and so on and so on. Want to know more about it, check it all in the next chapter. Review me, thanks.

Thanks to all who had reviewed. I truly appreciate your support. ^_^ 


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^ 

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning:Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.****

Summary:The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love 

**+++**

Chapter Three 

Sun shines through the window and awaken the blonde in the room. Sitting up from his bed, the blonde stretched himself a little before he decided to get off the bed. Just as he got out of bed, he heard a soft cooing sound outside the room. Then all of a sudden, he realized something is amiss. Turning his attention to his side, he found out that he was actually alone in the room. 

The futon was folded neatly against the wall along with the comforter and a certain golden-eyed youth was nowhere to be seen. 

_'When did the monkey learned to wake up early in the morning?' _Sanzo thought, getting out off bed and heading out of room. When he walked out the door of his room, the said youth greeted him cheerfully. 

"Ohiyo, Sanzo." Goku chirped.

Then followed by a cooing sound he heard earlier, "Kyuu~"

Seeing the white dragon on Goku's shoulder, Sanzo wondered why it was here but never care instead he turned to Goku and asked, "Why are you up so early today? Another nightmare?"

Saddens a little, Goku just nodded, "Yeah, and I couldn't get myself to sleep after that so I sat here for the pass two hours, then Hakuryu came and accompanied me." Patting Hakuryu's head gently, Goku smiled slightly and said, "It's a weird dream, but I'm okay now since Hakuryu had been cheering me up."

Ruffling Goku's hair, Sanzo said, "Let's go and get our breakfast in town with those two idiots."

"Eh?" Goku looked up at Sanzo in surprise.

"That's what you wanted yesterday, wasn't it?" asked Sanzo, coolly.

Smiling, Goku nodded, "Hai."

Then Goku get off from where he was sitting on and followed Sanzo towards the entrance of the temple. Knowing and understanding that Sanzo cares of him, though not literally, Goku was already glad.

***

"Yo, corrupted monk, bakasaru!" Gojyo greeted.

"Stop calling me that!" Goku shouted.

"You are a saru anyway!" Gojyo teased on.

"Would two shut up? Early in the morning you two wanted to die already?" Sanzo yelled, pointing his gun at Gojyo instead of Goku. "Stop starting your damn bickers or I'll not hesitate but send you to hell! I prefer an obedient monkey so don't you dare start bickering with him!"

"Oh, so the monk finally stands up and defend the monkey!" Gojyo mocked and ignored Sanzo's glare.

Before Sanzo could kill Gojyo, Hakkai walked down the stairs of the inn and greeted, "Ohiyo, Sanzo, Goku."  Then when he spotted his pet dragon, he asked, "Ah, Hakuryu, there you are, where were you?"

The said dragon landed on Goku's shoulder and cooed happily, "Kyu~"

"He was accompanying me." Goku told Hakkai.

"I see." Hakkai smiled. "Well, let's order our breakfast."

The former Sanzo-ikkou sat together and has their breakfast together. Chatting about their past journey to the west and about how they were living now. Gojyo and Hakkai still live together and Gojyo still gambles to make money. Hakkai was able to get a job as a teacher again.

After they had finished their meals, Sanzo stood up and turned to the exit of the inn. Goku stared up at him and ask, "Sanzo, where are you going?"

"Back to the temple." Sanzo replied, without looking back. "You can stay, I'm not grounding you today anyway. I got work to do, so I need to go back."

"Hai… " Goku nodded and watched Sanzo left the inn. Then when he's sure Sanzo had left, he turned back to Gojyo and Hakkai. "Nei, I got something to ask the both of you."

Hakkai and Gojyo both turned to Goku, "Eh?"

"Something I dare not ask when Sanzo's around." Goku added, turning serious.

"What is it?" asked Hakkai, smiling.

Goku stared at the table instead of Hakkai and ask, "Why am I feeling so weird whenever Sanzo's around? Like I feel very happy just seeing Sanzo and depressed all of a sudden when he's not around. Then I felt my heart beating very fast when I looked into his eyes. What is this sort of feeling?"

Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged glances for a while before they turned back to Goku and smiled.

"Why am I feeling like that?" asked Goku again, now looking up to the both of them.

"Goku, I guess… You're in love." Hakkai replied.

"Eh!" Goku blushed adorably. "I'm… I'm in love?"

Gojyo doesn't want to joke around when Goku looks so serious, so he decided to help out. "Well, you're in love, saru. Happy when he's around but uneasy when he's not; and it's up to you whether you have the guts to confess to Sanzo."

"Confess… " Goku murmured uneasily. "But what if he rejected me?"

Hakkai smiled and leans forward to place a hand on Goku's shoulder,  "Well, I honestly don't think Sanzo hates you, Goku. What if he also loves you?"

Shrugging, Goku sighed again and murmurs, "but I'm still worried."

"Don't worry, Goku, have faith in yourself!" Gojyo encouraged. "Judging by the way he defends you earlier, I bet he likes you, too."

Goku just smiled slightly and nodded, "I'll give it a try then."

"That's the spirit!" Hakkai chirped.

***

Outside the inn…

"We'll come and visit you again, Goku." Hakkai said, starting the engine of the jeep. "You should come over to visit us sometimes, too, so I can cook you something you love to eat."

"Yeah, saru, also drag your beloved Sanzo along so we can play mahjong." Gojyo teased.

Goku blushed a little at what Gojyo said but never fight back, "I will, if I can."

"Well, we better get going now. Hope to see you soon, Goku." Hakkai waved before he drove off.

Goku just waved back and watched the jeep goes. After the jeep was out of sight, Goku turned towards the direction of the temple and thought of how he should confess his love for Sanzo. He knew it'd not be easy when he face Sanzo but he just got to say it. Walking back towards the temple, Goku thought off how he should do it?

***

When Goku reached the temple, he saw a group of young monks studying in fields with the elder. Quietly walking pass the monks and bowed his respect to the elder monk like he always does, Goku continued his thoughts. However he snapped out off it when elder monk started a conversation with him.

"Goku, going to look for Sanzo-sama again?" asked the elder.

Goku nodded, "Hai." He was respectful to the elder because he was nice to him and that he was also someone Goku turned to when he wanted to study. "Is Sanzo in his office?"

"Yes, doing his work as usual." The elder nodded. "Why not study with us? Today we're learning the 'rule of a monk'. Sanzo-sama got loads of work to do today so you better not disturb him. Sit around and study with them."

Shrugging, Goku nodded, "All right then." Instead of sitting down, Goku leans against a tree. Goku knew he would doze off if he sits down. However respectful he was to the elder, Goku couldn't help but felt bored, listening to his lecture. _'I sure have a bad timing running into this.'_

"Well, let me tell you what a real monk should be. These are the rules to keep being able to gain respect from outsider, as a monk." The elder started. "Repeat after me, the rule of a monk. A monk must be a vegetarian."

The young monks repeated as were told.

"A monk must never kill, even if it is a mere insect; never gamble even if it's a game."

Again the young monks repeated. 

"Most importantly, a monk must never fall in love with anyone." The elder finished and the monks repeated again. "It's severe if a monk breaks the rule especially when it's about love relationship. They will be punished!"

Jerking away from the tree he was leaning on, suddenly, Goku was shocked at what he had just heard. He had never knew the rules of a monk even when he often heard Gojyo teasing Sanzo about what a corrupted monk he was in the past. Does that means that Sanzo couldn't love? Goku was very confused now.

"Goku!"

Turning to the voice, he saw Sanzo. Doesn't know what he should say or what to do, Goku just looked up at Sanzo dazedly.

"What's wrong with you? Come to my office!" Sanzo demanded.

Goku just nodded and walked towards Sanzo.

Deciding to push away the thoughts of confessing, Goku followed Sanzo to his office without a word. 

Sanzo finds it very troubling that Goku was being so quiet. Usually, Goku would start a conversation with him and bug him but today, he felt that another being had replaced Goku. Stopping halfway, Sanzo turned around to face Goku.

"Why are you so quiet, it's so unlike you?" Sanzo asked.

Goku tilted his head away and said nothing. He was not in the mood to talk to Sanzo now. He doesn't want to gain a deeper feeling for Sanzo anymore. Knowing that a monk couldn't love, Goku wanted to give up now. He doesn't want Sanzo to get punished.

"Goku, I'm talking to you not to the wall." Sanzo said. Noticing something is terribly troubling Goku, Sanzo decided not to be too rough on Goku. "What's wrong? Why do you look so upset? Who upsets you?"

Just as Sanzo was about to reach out his hand to place it on Goku's head, Goku smacked his hand away and ran off, ignoring Sanzo calling him to halt. He just felt like running away before going in too deep. He just got to be far away from where Sanzo was. He couldn't bring himself to face Sanzo again at the moment.

Watching Goku running out off the temple, Sanzo was utterly surprised that Goku just ran off like that. He felt like it was his fault judging by the reaction he gains from Goku just now. Not wanting to lose Goku, Sanzo ran after him after a long pause of silence took place right after Goku ran off._ 'What in the world had I done this time?'_

***

"What should I do now? Why is it so painful?" Goku sobbed as he hugged his knees tighter. He had ran to town and was sitting by the river, crying. Confused of what he should do next, Goku just sat where he was, staring at the flowing river sadly. "Maybe I should give up… Maybe that's the only choice left and if I don't, Sanzo might get punished... "

As innocent as he was, Goku never truly thought that loving someone would hurt him so much. He had never truly loves someone before that he hoped that it was just a dream, or was it a nightmare? He really doesn't want to go on anymore or it would hurt him ever deeper. He doesn't want Sanzo to get punished because of him and he had already decided to give up; but it was easier said than done.

Then a sudden thought came to his mind, _'Maybe if I leave the temple, I could be able to forget Sanzo and find myself a new life… '_

"Leave the temple… " Goku murmured as he continued staring at the river solemnly. Do he really have the heart to leave the temple anyway? "Give up… "

"Give up what?"

Startled by the deep voice he came to know so well, Goku turned around and saw, to his shock, Sanzo standing just behind him. Too shock to speak, Goku just stare.

"And what do you mean by leaving the temple?" asked Sanzo again, as he panted. He had been running around town searching for Goku so he was sweating and panting tiredly. "And what is it that you're going to give up?"

Turning away after realizing that he had been staring, Goku frowned and hissed, "N… None of your business!"

"What?" Sanzo widened his eyes in surprise. Did Goku just talked back?

Goku talked back on purpose. He just got to find ways to leave Sanzo. Thoughts of making Sanzo hates him came to his mind right after he arrived. Thinking that it's the only way to break away from Sanzo, Goku wanted to go on with his plan. "I said… I said it's none of your business! Don't you understand!"

Knowing perfectly well that Goku was very troubled by something, Sanzo did not just back off, leaving Goku alone, but walked forward until he was just few inches away from him. Staring down at the sad youth, Sanzo demanded, "What's troubling you anyway? Tell me!"

Goku stood up and back a few small steps since the river was just behind him. Staring back at Sanzo who was staring at him, Goku decided that ending it now it's better then ending it later. Shutting his eyes tightly, Goku shouted, "Leave me alone and whatever my problem is, it's none of your business! I'll handle it myself just leave me alone!!!"

It seems to Sanzo that whatever he says couldn't reach Goku anymore; Sanzo did what his heart tells him to do. Instead of putting a hand on Goku's head like he always did, Sanzo pulled Goku into his embrace, much to Goku's surprise, and hold him tight. "Baka!" Sanzo started. "How the hell can I leave you alone since you told me not to!? What in the world is wrong with you all of a sudden!? What had that damn kappa said to you anyway? Goku, please just fucking tell me what's troubling you already?"

Stunned by Sanzo's action, Goku just stayed in his arms, motionless but silent tears started to fall, even though he struggled to hold back when Sanzo came. 

"Who have hurt you, Goku?" asked Sanzo, with a more gentle voice. "This is so unlike you; do you know that? What's wrong? You never keep anything from me before, so tell me what's bothering you?"

Trembling with slight fear and nervousness, Goku let another soft sob escaped his lips before he murmured, "Let go off me… Let go! Please, just let go off me!"

"No, I won't let go until you tell me your problems." Sanzo replied. Then he turned serious and admitted, murmuring, "and I've longed to hold you in my arms and I'm not letting you go, ever! I know that if I let go now, you'd leave the temple, leave this place and worst of all, leave me! I don't want that! I don't want to lose someone I love and cherished the most again."

"Eh!!" 

**+++**

**To be continued…**

**A/N:** How was it? Nice or not? I like Sanzo doing the confession before Goku does. Will they get together? Will Goku accept Sanzo's feelings?  Find out in the next chapter! **I'm gladly happy that you guys reviewed me, thanks a lot. ^_^**


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^ 

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning:Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.****

Summary:The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love 

**+++**

Chapter Four 

"No, I won't let go until you tell me your problems." Sanzo replied. Then he turned serious and admitted, murmuring, "and I've longed to hold you in my arms and I'm not letting you go, ever! I know that if I let go now, you'd leave the temple, leave this place and worst of all, leave me! I don't want that! I don't want to lose someone I love and cherished the most again."

"Eh!!" 

***

Silence hung around the air after Sanzo's confession. Goku was too stunned to move or say anything, still in the embrace of Sanzo. Shocked that Sanzo actually confessed to him, Goku was unable to struggle against Sanzo's hold as all his energy had left him since he stopped his struggling a few minutes ago.

"Aishiteru, Goku." Sanzo repeated the same words he had said yesterday. The only difference was that Goku was fully awake and was in his arms this time, listening, than sleeping in his room, unaware of what he said. "I'm serious, Goku. I really love you and I don't wish to be apart from you so don't leave."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Goku was able to find his voice to speak, "I don't want to listen… "

Surprised that Goku was still fighting back, he pulled away and held Goku at arms' length, "I'm truly serious, Goku," Sanzo repeated. " I'm not joking with you! When did I joke around anyway?" Shaking Goku back and forth gently, Sanzo continues, "Why are you turning into a cold bastard yourself now?"

More tears flushed down Goku's face, as he couldn't take it anymore. Surrendering to his heart content, Goku suddenly laid his head on Sanzo's shoulder and let a sob escapes his lips. Then he murmured, "I don't want to be apart from Sanzo, too… But… But I can't bear to let you being punished because of this feeling you had for me and the feeling I had for you... It's exactly the same… "

"Goku, you… " Sanzo was cut off.

"I love you, too, Sanzo, but I can't stay with you like this since you'll be punished if we go on." Goku pulled back from Sanzo's embrace this time and looked up to Sanzo, smiling and blushing at the same time, saying, "I'm glad to hear that you had the same feelings for me but I'm afraid that I can't stay with you. I don't want you to suffer the punishment of the temple"

"What are you trying to say? What punishment? What do you mean that you couldn't stay with me?" asked Sanzo, getting really confused. "What the hell are you trying to say?"

Deciding that telling Sanzo would be easier to get over this, Goku sighed and explained, "Earlier when I was with the elder, he said that a monk mustn't love and if one was to have this feelings for someone, they must be punished severely. I don't want you to suffer."

Doesn't really know whether he should kill the elder or hit the monkey silly; Sanzo was totally pissed off now. Knocking Goku's head with his fist, Sanzo glared at him and scolded, "You really am a baka! Who dares to punish me anyway? And when did I ever follow rules? I live my life the way I like, I don't take rules and no one could ever command me on what I should do and what I shouldn't. No one controls my fate. I choose my own destiny, my own path, and so should you, bakasaru!!"

Realization hits Goku hard on the back of his head after Sanzo finished what he said. Right, Sanzo never followed orders from anyone, or did he ever follow rules. Feeling silly, Goku blushed deeper with embarrassment and kept quiet.

Then after a short moment of silence, Sanzo lifted Goku's chin with his fingers and smiled slightly, "If that bothers you so much, I can stripped off my title as Sanzo and we'll live out alone, just the two of us together." Sanzo said, lifting another hand to brush away Goku's remaining tears. "Free and peaceful, without other monks bothering you and no more work for me to do. We can even become those two idiots neighbors, if you want." 

Touched by what Sanzo said, Goku smiled genuinely and shook his head, "It's okay. You don't have to go that far… I'd be happy just staying by your side… "  Goku looked away, nervous at what he had said, before he continues. "It's enough for me already… I won't leave the temple, and I'll not leave you… Let's just stay the way it is."

"Is it really okay? I mean to keep it as it is? Does that mean that we have to hide our relationship?" Sanzo asked, eyes locking with Goku's golden ones. "I don't like that… I don't want that… "

Placing a finger on Sanzo's lips, Goku shook his head once again and said, "I don't mind. You'll lose the reason of being a Sanzo if you stripped off that title. Hakkai already told me everything concerning your past, when we were still journeying to the west. Think about the sutras you protected for so long and think about the faith other people we know, throughout the journey, holds in you. You can't quit now, Sanzo."

Taken aback by what Goku had said, Sanzo stared at Goku for a while than he averted his attention to his side and touched his sutra with his fingers. '_You can't buried yourself in the past forever, think about now. What's before you is most important than your past.'_ A voice entered his mind and it sounded very familiar, so familiar that he couldn't help but word out 'old hag' under his breath. _'I dare you to say that again!'_

The nosy goddess of mercy up in heaven just glared down her lotus pond, at Sanzo, though she knew that couldn't reach him. Then she smiles and continued watching them, gladly happy for them.

Back to Sanzo and Goku…

Staring back into Goku's eyes, Sanzo shook his head to Goku this time around and smiled slightly. Admitting to what the 'old hag' had told him earlier, Sanzo says, "let's not talk about the past and look forward, Goku." Brushing a few brown strands out of Goku's face, he goes on, "I don't want to think about the past anymore. I want to look ahead. I promised you one thing, Goku."

"Eh? What is it?" asked Goku, who had been quiet under Sanzo's gaze. His blush deepens as Sanzo leans closer. Their faces were just inches away and Goku could feel Sanzo's breath on him and forehead touching his. 

"I won't make you sulk on raining days again." Sanzo murmured softly before leaning forward and pressed his lips against Goku into a passionate kiss. A kiss that goes on for their second and so on. 

After they ended their kiss, the new lovers sat by the river, watching the sunset together before they went to one of the restaurants in town to have their dinner. Then they returned back to the temple, hand in hand.

***

After their confessions, Sanzo and Goku were mostly seen together. Sanzo was silently planning on leaving the temple even though Goku had reasoned to him that he should stay. He couldn't stand to see Goku tolerating the monks anymore and the fact that they are lovers only when they are alone. He truly doesn't like this. Keeping it from Goku, Sanzo was doing it the hard way to get ready for their departure.

On the other hand, Goku becomes more cheerful than he ever was. It's been a week since Sanzo and him got together, and he had been really happy that he had even wrote a letter to Gojyo and Hakkai, telling them everything had gone pretty successful and thanked them for their advices. Forgetting his earlier worries, Goku returned to his lively self again.

Bouncing through hallway of the temple, Goku was on his way towards Sanzo's office after his rounds of tag and hide-and-seek with the kids in town. Becoming reasonable as time goes by, Goku had learnt that Sanzo truly needs a lot of time to do his work. Knowing that Sanzo likes doing his work in peace, Goku skips out to town everyday after breakfast, to play with the kids who really enjoy his company. 

When he reached Sanzo's office, he sensed that Sanzo wasn't alone inside. Peeking from the half open door, he saw it was the elder monk, and he was talking to Sanzo. Thinking that staying outside would be best than jumping in, Goku walked over to the pond, in the middle of the field, and sat on one of the stones around it.

Just after a minute Goku had settled down, the door to Sanzo's office opened and out came the elder with Sanzo 'kindly' gesturing him out, in an urgent-sort of manner. Goku never noticed this as he was occupied with his own thoughts and was humming a melody that suits his thoughts now, daydreaming away, uncaring of what was happening around him.

"Would you mind leave now? I got to prepare to take the monkey out for dinner!" Sanzo said, trying to sound calm and casual, as he tried to push the elder out off his office. "I really don't have time to listen to all the crap about the damn festive season!"

"But it's important as you're the guest of the day." The elder reasoned but was totally push towards the field.

"I don't give a damn!" Sanzo hissed. 

Sighing in defeat, the elder bowed and left, "Very well then, we'll talk about it some other times."

After the elder left, Sanzo turned for his office, anticipating Goku's return. Just as he takes a step forward, the side of Sanzo's eye caught sight of the said youth he was hoping to see. Turning to the field, Sanzo called, "Goku! Get in here!"

Snapping out off his reverie, Goku turned and saw Sanzo motioning him to get in his office. Getting the sign, Goku stood up and stretched a little before walking to Sanzo's direction.

***

"Nei, Sanzo, when are you going to be free? I'm hungry!" Goku whined. He was standing by the window, leaning against the side of it, facing Sanzo. "The sun's about to set and you haven't finish, couldn't it wait till tomorrow?"

Sighing in exasperation, Sanzo placed his pen and documents aside before he stood up from his desk. "You're really noisy, did you know that?" Sanzo murmured, walking towards Goku. When Sanzo was near Goku, he wrapped an arm around his waist and pulls him close, whispering, "You will have your dinner once I'm done with you."

"Mou, Sanzo-!" Goku was cut off as Sanzo had captured his lips into a fervent kiss. Blushing when Goku felt Sanzo's tongue nudging on his lips, he just willingly open his mouth and responded to the kisses as it deepens.

Tightens the hold around Goku's waist, Sanzo pulled himself closer to Goku and pinned him onto the wall behind his back. Parting from the kiss, Sanzo started trailing kisses down Goku's jaw. Hearing Goku's soft moan, Sanzo smirked a little before he targeted Goku's neck and bit a small mark there, causing the youth to let out a sudden gasp.

"Sanzo!"

Ignoring Goku, Sanzo continues trailing kisses around Goku's neck then going back to attack his lips.

A soft knock was heard from the door but Sanzo was too occupied with what he is doing so did not realize but Goku did. Just as Goku opened his eyes, he was terribly shock to see the elder opens the door and was about to word out something but froze in the spot where he stood as he witnesses what was happening in the room. Acting fast, Goku pushes Sanzo off him, broke the kiss instantly and looks away in embarrass.

When Sanzo was about to question Goku, the elder spoke first. "What in the world are you doing, Sanzo-sama!?"

**+++**

**To be continued…**

**A/N:** Another chapter done. I was planning to stop at chapter 5 but it seems to be getting longer then what I expected. Hope the confession part doesn't disappoints you. Next chapter, will they stay together? I think I could make Gojyo and Hakkai appearance in the story again since they rarely shows up. Hope you like this chapter anyway!  **Thanks for the reviews! You're all the best! ^_^******


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^ 

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning:Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.****

Summary:The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love 

**+++**

Chapter Five 

"Explain yourself, Sanzo-sama!" The elder demanded.

The elder, who had caught Sanzo and Goku in between their making out, was very furious about their act. He had demanded them to talk in his office and here they are, standing in front of the elder's desk, being asked about their relationship. Goku was feeling very guilty and also too embarrassed to talk since he never imagine the elder had such a bad timing to walk into them. Sanzo, on the other hand, was staying calm and cool.

"As you saw us just now, that already explains everything." Sanzo calmly replied while casting worried glance over at his young lover, who was very quiet and fear was written in his face. Then he turned back to the elder and said, "If that's all you wanted to know, please excuse us."

Slamming the table in anger, the elder stood and pointed to Goku, "I always thought that the other monks are picking on Goku and I always take whatever they said as rumors but I never expected them to be true!" Taking in a deep breath, the elder stop before he shouted; "He's truly a brat who only cause troubles in the temple ground and leads you, Sanzo-sama, to fall into a forbidden relationship with him. If he stays on, he'd only roused up more troubles. I had made up on my mind; I shall banish him out of the temple, no questions ask!"

Goku snapped his head up and stared at the elder in shock.

The elder ignored Goku and turned to Sanzo, "As for you, Sanzo-sama; you are to face the punishment for breaking the rules?!"

Another silence hung around the air after the elder finished his sentence.

Glaring dangerously at the elder, Sanzo hissed, "Punish me? What gives you the right to?"

"As a monk, you should know the rules and the punishment for breaking them. As for me, an elder of the temple, shall go by the book even if you're higher ranking than I am." The elder explained coldly. "Or do you need me to gather all the elder monks from around Togenkyo to speak up?"

Sanzo said nothing. He knew that he had no power against all the elder monks around Togenkyo, but that doesn't mean he could let Goku live out alone. He should have just carried out his plan on leaving earlier or this would never have happened. Blaming himself mentally, Sanzo thought of something to talk back to the elder but Goku speaks up all of a sudden, surprising Sanzo.

"If I leave… " Goku started. He was serious as he talked. "If I leave, will you spare Sanzo from taking the punishment?"

Turning to Goku, the elder hesitated for a while and then he nodded, "Maybe I'd reconsider about punishing Sanzo-sama, if this is your last request before leaving the temple. Since you are mostly the root of all the chaos in the temple. You're an unholy brat who had damage the temple's name and guided Sanzo-sama to break the rule of the monk. If you'd leave, than I guess everything would be back to normal."

"That's not true, damn it!" Sanzo protested. He was getting really angry now. How can the elder insulted Goku like that? Goku had his reputation and dignity to keep. How can he have said such untrue words to him? Lunging forward and grabbed hold of the elder's collar, Sanzo glared and angrily demanded, "Take back what you just said! Idiot! Or I--!!"

"Stop it, Sanzo!" Goku shouted. Sanzo did stop threatening the elder and look back at Goku, who was now walking towards the door. Goku turned back to Sanzo and faking out a small smile, "I'll leave," Goku said shortly. Letting out a deep sigh, Goku bowed slightly and said, "I thank you for taking care of me throughout the years and apologized for my mistakes." Eyes not meeting Sanzo's, Goku turned back to the door and murmured, "I'll go pack my stuffs… "

With that, Goku left the room and closed the door of the elder's office. Sighing, Goku walked towards Sanzo's room to pack all his stuffs there. Just as he was in, he closed the door of Sanzo's room and sighed sadly, leaning against the door.

Tears started forming and streaming down Goku's face as he tried to hold them back when he was back in the elder's office. Lifting his hand to brush away his tears, Goku shook aside his sorrows for now as he strode towards the dresser to get all his clothes out. Spreading a cloth over the table, Goku packed all his clothes and other belongings in the middle of the cloth before he bundle them all up. Picking it up, Goku head for the door and left the room, heading for the exit of the temple.

'I guess… I'm too naïve as to think that others might actually accept us as who we are… As who I am… ' Goku thought solemnly. 

***

Meanwhile…

Back to the elder's office, Sanzo took out a sutra from his sleeve and took off his formal sutra from his shoulders and placed it on the elder's desk before he turned to the door. "If Goku's leaving, I'm leaving too. Here's the Holy sutra and the Evil sutra, I won't need it anymore since I'm no longer the Sanzo. Take it and give them back to the 'Three Aspects'. Tell them I quit being a Sanzo from today onwards!"

Sanzo stepped out of the office, just in time to catch a glimpse of Goku at the entrance of the temple, about to leave. As he was about to run after Goku, a hand on his wrist held Sanzo back.

"Now what do you want!?" Sanzo yelled at the elder who had stopped him from going after Goku.

"This is for your own good, Sanzo-sama. I know Goku had no evil attempts but if he stays on, you'd really fall into a deeper forbidden love with him. So I begged of you, please don't go after him anymore." The elder reasoned. "I believed that Goku wanted you to be safe or he wouldn't have choose to leave and even hope that you'd be freed of punishment before he left."

"Shut up!" Sanzo suddenly shouted to the elder. "You don't know how much Goku had sacrificed just to help and save me that was why you said something like that! Since I freed him, he tolerated me! Even if I'm cold and heartless towards him, he never really mind and tried to annoy me to get my attention! He tried lots of ways to break through the barrier I build around myself for years!!"

The elder was speechless.

"He gives me a lot but I haven't give him anything!" Sanzo clenched his hands into tight fists. "Trust, loyalty and faith; he shows me that every single day of our life, without any tinge of distrust and lost of faith even when I was so harsh on him, hit him everyday, shouts at him, call him names and even push him away! He had tolerated me for way too long; it's time for me to wake up already. I learnt that I should put behind my past and look at what I must cherish now... "

Pulling his wrist free from the elder's hold, Sanzo glared at him one last time before he turned his back on him, walking towards the entrance of the temple. Just as he goes, he finished, "To me, Goku is like an angel who shines my life with light and… Love… An angel who tries to save my life when I'm in danger… Protect me throughout the journey and ended up he's the one who gets hurt. If I lose him now, I'd regret for the rest of my life!"

Staring at the retreating back of Sanzo, the elder sighed tiredly and turned back to his office. "Love is truly selfish… " Shaking his head, the elder closed the door to his office and stared outside the window, sighing yet again before he murmured, "Love really does conquers all… "

***

_'Goku! Where are you!?' _Sanzo thought to himself, running around town like he did last week, searching for same person in town. _'Where could you have gone!? Goku!!'_

Asking around and running to places where Goku was likely to be when he's upset, Sanzo's search for his young lover was harder than he thinks. Almost the whole town was thoroughly searched but there is still no sign of Goku's whereabouts. He had even asked the kids who had played with Goku but they haven't him since a few hours ago when they were playing happily. He went to the riverside but Goku was not there like he does when he went looking for him a week ago.

_'Goku, where the hell did you go?'_ Sanzo thought, running another round in town to look for Goku. After he had done that, Sanzo stopped for breath since he had been running around endlessly for nearly two hours of search. All of a sudden, a thought came to mind. If Goku wasn't in town, then there's only one place he would go.

With a deep breath, Sanzo started running again and left the town, off to a 'kappa's' house where he was sure Goku could've gone to.

***

"Arigato." Goku thanked Hakkai who had served him with a cup of hot cocoa. The day falls dark and the rain came pouring after Goku arrived at Gojyo's place. Gojyo was out so only Hakkai and Hakuryu were at home. Goku actually did walked pass Sanzo in town but neither of them knew about it since Sanzo was in such a rush. 

"So what are you planning to do then?" asked Hakkai, worriedly.

"I don't know… There's no place I could go… " Goku replied.

"Why not stay here with us? I believe Gojyo would not mind." Hakkai offered.

Shaking his head side to side, Goku smiled slightly at Hakkai and said, "Nah, this place is already very small for the both of you, and Hakuryu. It's not a good ideal anyway."

"Goku, we don't mind." Hakkai insisted.

"Kyu, kyu~" Hakuryu agreed, nuzzling Goku's face.

"Even Hakuryu agrees." Hakkai smiled.

"Thanks, Hakkai, Hakuryu. It's really okay. I won't squeezed in with you guys since it is really too small to add another. I'll rent a place to stay. I got some money with me anyway." Goku chirped in nonchalance even though he was hurt inside. Hurt for leaving Sanzo, that is. "I told Sanzo before that I'd be independent one day. Now is my chance to prove to myself that I can independent."

"Since you're so determined, than I guess no one can change your mind." Hakkai sighed in defeat on asking Goku to stay. He looks back on Goku and demanded calmly, "But I must insist you to stay for today."

"Hai." Goku nodded.

"Good, now I'll go and make dinner." Hakkai went into the kitchen cheerfully.

"Damn it, why does it have to rain so heavily?" a grunt came from the door. 

Goku looked to the door and in came the owner of the apartment. Staring at Goku for a short while, Gojyo cocked his head to his side and asked. 

"Wow, what wind blows you here, saru?" Gojyo teased, taking off his coat and walking towards Goku, who was sitting on the couch. As he neared the youth, he realized how depressed Goku's eyes and expression were. Instantly knowing that something must have happened, Gojyo placed a hand on Goku's head and asked in a worried tone, "Did something happened?"

Surprised that Gojyo actually took him serious, Goku just nodded in reply. 

"With that corrupted monk, right?" Gojyo asked again.

Goku nodded again.

"Dinner's ready!" Hakkai chirped. "Ah, Gojyo, you're back!"

"What's wrong with the saru?" asked Gojyo, turning to Hakkai.

"A long story, Gojyo." Hakkai simply replied. "I'll tell you as we have our dinner, Goku would be staying here for the night, is that okay with you?"

"Come on, how can I say no?" Gojyo complained.

They sat around the table and had their dinner together. Hakuryu, being nice sat beside Goku, eating and cheering him up at the same time while Hakkai repeated Goku's reason of being here to Gojyo from the start. When Gojyo gets the story, he also follows Hakuryu in cheering the youth, who had been awfully quiet throughout the meal. Even Hakkai started to cheer him up since he was getting really worried about Goku.

***

After dinner, Goku sat back on the couch and kept quiet. He was actually thinking of what he should do starting from tomorrow. He's going to be alone and learned to be independent after today. However, it's not easy for him to plan since a certain blonde kept entering his thoughts whenever he tried to think.

"Saru, let's play poker to cheer up." Gojyo chirped.

"Eh, but I'm not in the mood to play or do anything… " Goku replied, not even looking up at Gojyo.

Gojyo sighed and Hakkai walked out of the kitchen with a plate of fruits in hand. "Goku, have some fruits."

Absentmindedly picking one from the plate, Goku nodded a 'thanks' before returning to his thoughts.

Exchanging worried glances with each other, Gojyo and Hakkai shrugged and decided let Goku be. Gojyo went to get the newspaper to read, passing the time since the night is still early. As for Hakkai, he sat by the dinning table, finishing up the fruits with Hakuryu.

All of sudden, the apartment's door slam opened, alarming everyone in the house. Turning to the door, they were all shocked to find a drench Sanzo standing at the door. Speechlessly looking at Sanzo who was looking back at him, Goku just stayed where he was, stunned at the sight of Sanzo being here, totally drench.

Apparently, Sanzo had a hard time coming to Gojyo's apartment due to the heavy rain. He had stopped by a shelter as the day turns dark and the rain was blocking his view of the road in front that he was unable to go on. Waited for over one hour for the rain to finally stop, Sanzo's was very frustrated and furious that he had spent so much time just to look for Goku. However, his anger seized when he finally found Goku.

"I knew you'd be here… Goku… "

**+++**

**To be continued…**

**A/N:** Done with another chapter! The story is finally coming to an end, I suppose. Well, hope you like this chapter. Next chapter: Sanzo and Goku to talk things out in order to decide how they go on.** I'm glad that you guys like the last chapter, I was afraid that it didn't turn out good. Thanks for the reviews! ^_^**


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^ 

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning:Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.****

Summary:The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love 

**+++**

Chapter Six 

"I knew you'd be here… Goku… "

Standing up from where he sat, Goku tears his gaze away from Sanzo and back away a few steps. "What… What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the temple?"

Sanzo decided not to answer Goku since he remembered he was at someone else's apartment and they were not alone. Casting side glances over at Hakkai than to Gojyo, Sanzo tuned back to Goku and said, "Let's talk outside."

Knowing that he couldn't refuse, Goku just nodded and followed Sanzo outside.

Gojyo and Hakkai just watch them in silence since the tension was in the air. They watched Goku walking out with Sanzo, towards the trees nearby. Knowing that Sanzo dislike being overheard, Hakkai kindly closed the door and pushes Gojyo back into the house, letting them have their privacy talk.

***

To where Sanzo and Goku were…

Goku stopped when the behind Sanzo when Gojyo's apartment was out sight. He broke the silence and asked again, "Sanzo, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at the temple?"

Sanzo stopped pacing and replied with his back still facing Goku, "You know what I'm here for." Turning back and walking towards Goku, Sanzo glared at the said youth seriously and said, "and you know why I'm here… "

Looking aside, avoiding Sanzo's stares, Goku frowned, "I don't actually know the reason you're here for… "

Placing both hands on Goku's shoulders, Sanzo murmured, "I don't wish to repeat what I say last week… "

"Eh?" Goku looked up at Sanzo. 

"I'm no longer a Sanzo… I'm just a normal citizen now… If you want to leave, I'm coming with you. We're going to go together. Not alone anymore." Sanzo said. "You're not thinking about going alone, are you?"

"Is it really okay?" Goku asked, looking down at his feet.

"Yes, it is okay." Sanzo reassured Goku once more. "We're going to find a place to live together. A place where no one would bother us anymore; we'll live in peace just the two of us."

"Just the two of us… " Goku repeated what Sanzo had said.

"Right, just the two of us." Sanzo nodded.

Goku nodded back and flies into Sanzo's embrace, sobbing uncontrollably. He had hold back his tears for too long and now he couldn't help but let them all pour. He felt hopeless when he was banished by the elder of the temple but when Sanzo's suddenly came, he felt that all his worries vanished without a trace. Now, he felt safe and at ease in the arms of Sanzo. 

Sanzo was a little shock but shook it off since he finally got Goku back into his arms. Tightening his hold around Goku, Sanzo buried his face into Goku's messy hair while his hands were rubbing Goku's back to calm him down. 

"Bakasaru." Sanzo murmured. "When did I say that I'd leave you alone back then? And how dare you act on your own in taking all the faults to yourself? You're really a bakasaru… "

"You never said anything… " Goku muttered, holding back a sob.

Knocking on Goku's head gently, Sanzo stated, "I was too surprise to say anything when you said you wanted to leave… I was more surprise and rather stunned when you stopped me and left without giving that old geezer a good beating after he had insulted you so much… "

"I don't have a place to say anything at all… " Goku reasoned sadly, burying himself deeper into Sanzo's embrace. 

"That's not true, what he said was terribly wrong and you should have sound your right rather than tolerating it." Sanzo snorted. "Sometimes you are just too soft, unlike when we were still on journey… "

"Let's just say that I learned a lot throughout the journey and the time I stayed in the temple… " Goku joked.

"Finally back to yourself." Sanzo said.

Pulling away from Sanzo, Goku brushed away his tears with his fingers. Just as he had done so, Goku murmured, "Thank you for coming, Sanzo… "

Smiling slightly, Sanzo took Goku's hand away from his eyes and bring it to his lips, kissing his fingers and tasting Goku's tears. Feeling slight guilt for making Goku cry, Sanzo lifted his other hand to brush away the remaining tears and letting it stayed on Goku's face. Staring into Goku's eyes, Sanzo said, "I promised you one more thing, Goku… I promise never to make you cry like this again… Depression doesn't suits you at all, smile for me now… "

Blushing a little at Sanzo's action and words, Goku smiles a little and thanked Sanzo again, "Sanzo… Thank you for everything."

Cupping Goku's face, Sanzo pulled him close and murmured, "Stop being so formal, it's not like you at all. Be genki again… " 

With that, their lips met in a passionate kiss. Goku happily responded to the kiss and Sanzo was just too happy to let go. When they parted, they pulled themselves into another hug that lasted what seems like forever, under the big round moon, which had crawls out of the clouds…

***

The next day…

"Are you two really leaving?" asked Hakkai, sadly.

Sanzo just grunted while Goku nodded with a smile.

"Well, do take care then… " Hakkai sighed.

"We will, you too, Hakkai… " Goku smiled.

"Kyu~!" Hakuryu cooed sadly about their departure.

Looking around, Goku noticed that Gojyo wasn't around. Turning to Hakkai, Goku asked, "Hakkai, where's Gojyo?"

"I haven't seen him since breakfast, I wonder where he have gone to?" Hakkai wondered, also looking around. Then he spotted the redhead walking towards the apartment with an old lady. "Gojyo, who is the old lady you're with?"

Gojyo turned to Hakkai and grinned happily before turning to Goku, "Saru, you did said that you two are looking for a place to live together right?"

"Uh, yeah? Why did you ask all of a sudden?" asked Goku, confused.

"This is the landlady from around here and she said that there's a vacant house just a few miles away from here. She was about to rent it out. So are you interested? We can be neighbors, you know?" Gojyo said cheerfully. "She said that all the furniture are in and they are in great condition, and it was vacant because the previous family grew big so they moved out to a bigger place. Well, how about it?"

Hakkai clapped his hands together and chirped, "That's a great ideal!"

"Well… " Goku doesn't know how to answer them since he couldn't decide it alone. Turning to Sanzo, Goku asked, "What do think, Sanzo?"

Sanzo couldn't protest now, can he? He did mention something about being their neighbors on that day of their confession. Since Goku likes it than he just got to comply. "If you like it than I'll take it."

Gojyo and Hakkai were shocked at what Sanzo had said. This is their first time that they heard Sanzo replying to Goku so nicely and kindly. Goku was glad about that though.

"Then I'd say yes, I love it!" Goku chirped.

***

A few weeks later…

Sanzo and Goku had finally get use to their new environment. Since Sanzo was no longer a Sanzo, he doesn't work for the 'gods' anymore and so his credit card was gone. So, he got to look for a job in town to make sure Goku gets his meal everyday. Well, since he loves peace and quiet, Sanzo took up the job as a librarian. Goku also finds himself a job to help out with the financial problems; he works as a waiter in one of the restaurant in town. Though Sanzo did disapprove about Goku working, Goku just reasoned out with Sanzo until he agrees.

They are busy with their work everyday and even Gojyo and Hakkai couldn't take it just by watching them so they helped them out with their meals, inviting them over for breakfast and dinner. 

"It's a pity that both you and Goku had different day off." Hakkai sighed, wiping the table.

Gojyo walked in the house and nodded, "Yeah, we off on Sundays but Goku off on Mondays."

"It's just logical that Goku's job carries on today, unlike us." Hakkai explained. "Schools and libraries were not a place kids would love to spent their time at. But a waiter means there's more business on public holidays and Sundays so it's just make sense that he got to work today… "

"Poor Sanzo-sama got to spent his entire day with us every Sunday." Gojyo teased.

"Urusai!" Sanzo threw his paper fan towards Gojyo's direction and it hit him hard on his head.

"It hurts, damn it!" Gojyo hissed, hiding behind Hakkai in process.

"However, Sanzo." Hakkai turned to Sanzo. "Ever since both of you moved in, and started working for your financial problems, you two were mostly apart. Have you ever thought about Goku getting more friends when working and slowly he might get attracted to other girls or something… Don't you ever worried about that?"

Sanzo stood up from the couch and walked towards the window, tapping his cigarette butt out before replacing the cigarette back to his lips, murmuring, "I have faith in Goku. I trust him and believe that he'd never betray me… Even if opposite gender gets attracted to him, I won't say a thing or care about it because I know one thing… And that is to believe him… "

"What if the saru never resist? You might never know that girls are good in flirting and seducing than we, men, are." Gojyo noted, lighting a cigarette in between his lips. "Goku could get enticed, who knows? He just hadn't had that sort of experience yet since all the girls we met throughout the journey are all nice ones."

"That, I don't know… " Sanzo wanted to resist the feeling of doubt climbing into his mind but what Gojyo said may be true as Goku had never experienced being the prey of the girls at all. "But I--!"

  
Sanzo was cut off when Gojyo's apartment's door burst opened and Goku came rushing in. Without looking around, Goku ran towards the kitchen and shouted, "Say I'm not in!"

Sanzo and Gojyo blinked in confuse but they snapped out of it when two girls, dressed in bright color clothes and heavy make-up came rushing in the house and looked around. 

"Where's Goku?" asked the girl dressed in pink.

Gojyo pointed towards the forest and said, "There."

"Thanks a lot." The other girl dressed in orange thanked and both left the house and heads towards the forest without any doubts.

Five minutes later, Sanzo and Gojyo went to the kitchen and found Hakkai eyeing the dinning table in concern. 

"Goku, there're gone, you can come out now. Gojyo got rid off them." Hakkai said, reaching out one hand and Goku gently grabs it and climbed out from under the table. "Why are they after you?"

"They said they like me and they wanted my reply today. So they both dressed nicely and make me choose, when I said no, they chase around town." Goku explained, panting tiredly, not knowing Sanzo was around. Goku pointed to his cheeks and sighed, "If I don't get away from them, I don't know how many of this lipstick's marks would be on my face… "

"Well, as I was saying… " Gojyo turned to Sanzo, who was very pissed off at the moment. "Girls can be very good in seducing and flirting… "

Turning to see whom Gojyo was talking to, Goku was surprised to see Sanzo. "Ara… Sanzo, how long have you been here?"

"Long before you came rushing in." Sanzo hissed, walking towards Goku.

Not knowing what Sanzo was thinking at the moment, Goku just smiled sheepishly and scratch the back of his head, "Well, I better get back to work before boss started to nag… " Just as Goku was about to turn back, Sanzo grabbed hold on his arm and, in a flash, he flung Goku over his shoulders, "Woah~!!"

"You're quitting the job and you're now coming home with me!" Sanzo demanded, walking towards the door. "No more work for you, and I mean it!"

"Why not~!?" Goku whined.

"Because I say so!" Then he left the house for his own.

Staring at the door, Gojyo and Hakkai burst out laughing.

"Sanzo should have just admitted he's jealous." Gojyo laughed, clutching his stomach.

"I believe you're right." Hakkai chuckled.

***

_'I bet Sanzo's still angry.'_ Goku pouted, poking his head out from behind the bathroom's door. Just as he was brought back from Gojyo's house, he was pushed into the bathroom, ordered to bath or die. Being Goku, he chooses to bath than to die, of course. _'I bet he's jealous, too.'_

Quietly walking out of the bathroom, Goku climbed onto the bed and sat there, staring at Sanzo's back. Sanzo was sitting on the bed, as well, but he was reading the newspapers.

"Nah, Sanzo, I'm sorry, okay?" Goku started.

"For?" Sanzo simply grunted.

"For not telling you earlier about those two girls… " Goku stated. "They are just customers of the restaurant and they came often… Just to see and talk to me… That's what they told me… It's been a few days since then… " 

"And you told me now?" Sanzo hissed, putting his reading glasses and newspapers away. Turning around to face Goku, Sanzo placed a hand on Goku's face and sighed, "I'm not angry with you… I'm just angry with those two girls who set their hands on you… Selfishly speaking, I don't want anyone to touch you but me… "

"Sanzo… " Goku blushed a little at Sanzo's words.

"Stop working, I mean it. Stay at home or spent time at the kappa's place." Sanzo said, caressing Goku's face gently. "Ever since we work, our time together seems lesser. Your job took up your whole day till it's close. When I'm off to work, you see me off but when I returned, I face four walls of this house, totally alone. Even we did get to be together in the morning, that wasn't enough at all or it's not exactly appropriate since kappa and Hakkai were there with us. I don't like that, it seems that we're apart all the times."

Listening to Sanzo intently, Goku did realize that what Sanzo said was true. In the morning, they had their breakfast with Gojyo and Hakkai, and then he sees Sanzo off to work since he works early in the morning like Hakkai; at noon, he had his lunch and sets off to work till late at night. When he returned, Sanzo's already in bed. It had already become a routine to him.

"Quit the job, Goku. Then at least we can spend time together in the late afternoon till midnight. We moved out because we want to be together, but it seems like we're not. Your current job seems to stress you too much." Sanzo said, staring into Goku's golden eyes. "Let me deal with the money problem alone. I'm still your keeper so it only sounds right for me to feed you."

Decided not to protest this time around, Goku nodded and smiled, "Whatever you say, Sanzo. Whatever you say."

Smiling slightly that Goku had finally agree, Sanzo leans in and let his forehead rests on Goku's, "bakasaru."

Leaning in closer, Sanzo pressed his lips onto Goku's into a soft and chaste kiss. When they parted, they lie down on the bed together and sleep in each other's warmth and embrace.

"Sleep, Goku, we'll have a picnic tomorrow." Sanzo murmured, burying his face deeper into Goku's hair.

"With Gojyo and Hakkai?" asked Goku, innocently.

"Without." Sanzo replied shortly and tightens his hold on Goku. "Just the two of us, remember?"

Smiling, Goku nodded and murmured, "Yeah, I remember. Just us alone."

"Right."

Finally Goku falls asleep; Sanzo did not let go of him but stay as it is. Staring down at the innocent face of Goku, Sanzo brushed away a few strands of hair and placed another kiss on his forehead. "Love you, always, Goku… "

Just as Sanzo slumbers off, Goku snuggles deeper into Sanzo's embrace and murmured, "I love you, too, Sanzo, always… "

Never had Goku thought that being in love was so 'romantic'. It was beyond his imagination to be truly in love with someone. It was his first experience and he knew that it's going to last forever as he believes Sanzo would always be there for him.

**+++**

**OWARI**

**A/N:** Finally it comes to an end. If I go on, I may be out of the storyline. Hope you like it. I couldn't think of a career for Sanzo so I choose him to be a librarian since he likes quiet place. I'd come up with another story if I think up of one, but I bet that'd take some time for me, though. **Thanks to all reviewers and readers who had been following the story.**


End file.
